A Glimpse Inside the Teenage Brain

Now that I’m the parent of a teenager (Seriously?!?! Am I really that old????), I am amazed at the lack of common sense that a child of that age possesses.

Apparently, scientific research has shown that teenager’s brains are not fully developed – especially the parts that handle logic and reasoning.  This leads to risky behavior – and apparently an extreme lack of common sense.

Case in point – we were having corn-on-the-cob for dinner the other night and I left a few ears in the pot of hot water on the stove so that it would stay warm.  Andrew (my 14 year old) went to grab an ear of corn out of the pot and instead of using the tongs that were on the counter, he reached into the pot with his bare hands! At which point he screamed that the water was hot – duh!

Remember the less-than-bright Vinnie Barbarino from the TV show Welcome Back Kotter?  That’s how Andrew’s been acting this summer…”What?”  “Where?” “Who?”

“Take what trash out?  Where do I put it?”

“I don’t know how to put dishes in the dishwasher [make a bed, mow the lawn, run the vacuum…].”

“We have a hamper?”

“Was that my iPod that went through the washing machine?”

“I’m supposed to flush the toilet after I go?”

“Where’s my cell phone [book, shoes, Nintendo DS, jacket, belt…]?”

Okay – that last one applies to most males I know, so I guess that’s not just the teenage brain…

My Alaskan “Adventures”

Well, I made it to Alaska – but BARELY – and I’m traveling VERY lightly.  There were some major weather problems in Philadelphia that caused a delay – that, along with other happenings on my flight made it one of the more interesting flights I’ve been on in a long time.

I knew that bad weather was forecasted for our area, but it was supposed to hold off until the afternoon – and my flight was scheduled to depart at 11:30.  But just as we were boarding, the storms started to come through. 

They let us board the plane, but then we sat at the gate for about 45 minutes due to the frequent lightening crashing all around us.  Apparently, whenever there is a lightening strike within 5 miles of the airport, the plane must wait 10 minutes before pushing back – not that all of us sitting in a large metal object were safer, mind you – it was the ground crew that they were protecting.

I wasn’t too worried – after all, I had a 2 ½ hour layover in Chicago’s O’Hare airport.

We finally rolled out onto the tarmac – good news.  Bad news – air traffic suspended all flights leaving out of Philadelphia headed west because of the line of storms.

So there we sat – on the plane with the engines shut down – waiting for the storms to clear.  By the way, one of the air traffic strategies was to send out a ‘guinea pig’ plane to report back as to how bad the weather is.  How would you like to be on THAT flight?

I called and checked in with my other traveling co-workers that were scheduled to take different flights – we were all pretty much in the same boat…it’s just that I was lucky enough to actually be on the plane.

I was relieved when the attractive man sitting next to me struck up a conversation – something to kill the time at least (by the way, we remained on the tarmac in the thunderstorm for over 2 hours!!!!)  The conversation started out like a normal chat-with-the-person-sitting-next-to-you-on-an-airplane would – where are you going?  Business or vacation?  Blah, blah, blah.  He started to show me some photos on his cell-phone – pictures of his kids and wife – a little more personal, but just friendly at that point.  Then we started to talk about age…he was 3 years younger than me but his wife was 4 years older than me.  I mentioned turning how hard it is for a woman to turn 40…and he started talking about his wife going through menopause…a little more personal…but still innocent enough.

Until…he started asking me if I had any menopausal symptoms yet.  I hesitantly told him that I’d had endometriosis…and he asked if I’d had a hysterectomy.  I hesitated some more, but admitted that yes, I had a hysterectomy a few years ago (a little too personal at this point) – then he asked if I had any issues with my sex drive.  Now he’d crossed the line from chit-chat to therapy session…can’t airplanes fly through lightening anyway?

But there was more…after I kind of turned away and pretended to be VERY interested in my book, he asked me about my marriage – was it in good shape?  No, really – was I in a good marriage?  I assured him that I was – I think it was at this point that the little boy in the row in front of me threw up all over his mother – and my purse.  I’m not sure if I was relieved or not…hmmm…the sight and smell of vomit vs. a very uncomfortable conversation…tough call. 

After the vomit was cleaned up as best it could be while in a stationary airplane in a thunderstorm waiting to take off (the flight attendants were worried that if they spent too much time on it, we might miss our opportunity to take off), he turned to me and asked what I thought of the John Edwards situation (Mr. Edwards was in the news this weekend for admitting that he had an affair) – he wanted to know if I thought he really did anything wrong.  What?  Was I actually having this conversation?  Did this guy think I was a therapist?  Or was he actually coming on to me (I highly doubt it!)?   I assured him that yes, I thought that having an affair was indeed a bad thing to do. 

Fortunately, the plane took off not too long after that and Mr. Too-Many-Personal-Questions started to do some work on his laptop.

When we landed in Chicago, I had 15 minutes to run to make my connection to Anchorage.  Mr.  Too-Many-Personal-Questions asked if I wanted his cell number in case I got stuck at the airport (he had already missed his connection) – I told him that I was sure I was going to make it, thank you very much.  And I did make it after running like OJ Simpson (pre-murder) through the airport. 

And I’m lucky that I made the connection – it turns out that we were the last flight to land in Anchorage because of the volcanic eruption.  That’s right – the VOLCANIC eruption.  It filled the sky with ash which apparently can do major damage to plane engines (like make them stop running – a fact that I’m glad I was unaware of while I was in the plane in the middle of the ash cloud).  For the rest of the evening and most of today, all flights in and out of Anchorage were cancelled – several of my co-workers got stuck in Las Vegas and Salt Lake City as a result (and they were already delayed due to the weather in Philadelphia – what a great day to fly!).

So yes – I made it…but unfortunately, my bags did not.  Apparently I can make a 15 minute connection but baggage cannot.  And since there were no more flights in and out of Anchorage…my bags are having a lovely holiday in Chicago.

I needed to restock all of my toiletries since I had no idea of when the volcanic ash would clear and I also needed something to wear to work the next day.  And of course it was Sunday night and the only store open was…WalMart.  I had to have my project lead drive me to scour the aisles of WalMart looking for something somewhat presentable to wear to work the next day since he had the only rental car.  And of course, the only shoes I had were my most awful beat-up, worn-in sandals that I wore on the plane – I only wore them because they are so comfortable, but they are SO not work appropriate. 

 But I tried to work with them and picked up a plain pair of khaki capris and button-down cotton shirt – I was quite the fashion-plate with my WalMart mismatched outfit and disgusting sandals at work today!   Since I had no clean clothes I also had to pick up underwear…which my program manager held  for me as I frantically ran through the aisles picking up other personal products (my male project lead smartly excused himself to the front of the store at this point).   I guess this is one way to really bond with your co-workers!   By the time I checked out, I ended up spending $90 at WalMart on toiletries and my sad outfit – and that was just for one day…

And of course, my hair did not hold up so well without my usual hair-products – I just did not feel like myself at all today.  Yesterday I laughed it all off but by the end of today, I was really starting to feel out of sorts and on the verge of tears.  I went back to the mall and went into the Gap this time for an outfit more my style, but still had no pajamas, no other shoes and none of my other stuff! 

I think when we travel, we use the items that we bring with us to bring us some comfort and help us feel at home wherever we are.  Without that, I feel like a bit like a gypsy – a gypsy with awful shoes and bad hair.

The good news is that I just got off the phone with the airline – they have found my bags in Chicago and will hopefully ship them to me tomorrow morning.  And I may be reimbursed for some of my expenses…which would really help out.

So looking back, I think I’ve seen most of the seven plagues so far this trip – thunder and lightening storm, little boy vomit, volcanic eruption, lost bags, annoying airline passenger…I think all that’s left are locusts, right?

Here’s hoping I see a suitcase show up soon…

Headed Back to the Last Frontier

After traveling this weekend to Valley Forge, I’m getting ready to pack up again and head back to Alaska next Sunday morning for my ‘real’ job.  I’ve now been working at my new job for just over 6 months and am posting for a minute to reflect on my progress.

I haven’t posted much about work lately, but it’s been interesting – and very busy.  I had to work a bit this weekend just to prepare for next week’s meetings.

I love that I work only three days a week, but it turns out that I’m actually doing five days a week’s worth of work (sometimes even more) in those three days.  I don’t get much ‘down time’ at work – I rarely take lunches or have time to chat with my co-workers.  At least that’s how it’s been lately.

When I mentioned this to Mike last week, he basically told me that I bring it all on myself because I’m such a control freak.  It seems that the more work that I do, the more work that I get.  And if someone else is doing the work…it makes me crazy because I guess I really am a control freak (is that a bad thing?).

I just feel that I’ve put so much of myself into this project that I would hate to see it fail or receive bad press.  I’m dedicated to seeing it through and I want it to be a success.  I need to remember that the entire project is NOT riding on MY shoulders…but I’ve certainly had a heavy hand in it and take a lot of personal responsibility for the outcome.

I must admit I’ve been enjoying these busy days – especially being so involved in something so large and critical.  I actually like what I’m doing right now (and the extra money doesn’t hurt either).

Fortunately for me, I’ve also received some great feedback from my project leaders which helps to keep me going…imagine that?  After all that time staying at home with my children and so many years away from the industry, I’ve managed to become a valuable part of a real project again – a project involving more than just changing diapers and doing laundry.

I hope that this can inspire other moms who have left their careers temporarily and are looking at going back to work – you CAN jump right back in at work again and get back up to speed in no time.  It takes a leap of faith though – I was SO intimidated by the idea of going back into the software industry – I hadn’t had to exercise that part of my brain for the 6 years that I was at home!

But as time goes on, I realize that I’ve had it in me all along – it had just been re-directed for a few years.  And I’m so glad that I had the chance to stay home with my family – I’ll never get those years back again and I’m appreciative that I was here to enjoy them.

Now I feel like I’m a working-mom on the days that I work and a stay-at-home mom on the days that I’m off – such a great compromise!  But no matter what, I’m always a MOM first – nothing is as important a job as that.

So what do I pack for Alaska in August, anyway?????

Camping In Hershey

As you may have gathered from my previous post, we spent this weekend camping in Hershey, PA at the Hershey Highmeadow Campground, one of our favorites.

We had a really nice time…with the exception of a few minor meltdowns due to the heat and the crowds – and half the time it was me melting down, not even the kids!  But after a break in the shade, a cold beverage and a chocolate-y snack, all was well.

We spent our first day (Saturday) hanging around at the campground – just enjoying the nice weather, swimming in the pool, playing some games – my parents even came up for a visit.

We purchased tickets for HersheyPark for Sunday, which meant that we could go on Saturday night for a few hours for a ‘free preview’ of the park.  Unfortunately, we were not the only ones on the park Saturday night – in fact, there was a record number of people at HersheyPark that night!  Between the Jonas Brothers and Brad Paisley concerts at the arena this weekend, the place was CRAZY!!!!

Emily was very excited to see that she was a “Reese’s Cup” this year and was tall enough to go on most of the rides.  Andrew, of course, is now tall enough to go on anything he wants!

We fought our way through the crowds and managed to go on a few rides that first night, but that was about all we could take and left exhausted.

Sunday morning, we headed out bright and early – as guests of the campground, we got to enter the park an hour before it opened and enjoyed a few quick line-free rides.

As soon as it opened, Emily, Matt and I headed over to the new “Boardwalk” – a huge waterpark filled with all kinds of fun things for the kids to do.  We changed into our swimsuits and played for about an hour…until it started to thunder.  At which point everything in the park shut down.

This was not such a bad thing – it was time for lunch and we needed to let the dogs out anyway, so we headed back to the camper on the shuttle bus and returned later in the afternoon after the skies had cleared.

Emily was proud to go on her first real roller coaster and Mike and Andrew went on a BUNCH of roller coasters including the new “Fahrenheit”– which to me looks just insane.  But no more insane than this one – the “Stormrunner” – which goes from a complete standstill to really-really fast at the very beginning of the ride.  Every time I saw the start of the ride and heard this creepy voice, I had my own personal little panic attack – and I wasn’t even on the ride!  I managed to take a video of Andrew’s car at the start of the ride – take a look at this (this voice still gives me nightmares):

Andrew on the StormRunner

And here he is by one of the loops:

Matt doesn’t enjoy rides very much, but he waited very patiently at the ride exits for everyone to finish:

We made reservations to stay at the campground again next year – between the campground, the amusement park, the water park and all the other activities, this is one of our favorite ‘one-gas-tank’ trips!

Happy Birthday Andrew!

Today my son Andrew is 14 YEARS OLD!!!!!  I can’t believe it – he’s growing up so fast!

And he’s at the age where it’s so easy to embarrass him – yesterday I mentioned to everyone that we saw (on the bus, at HersheyPark, at the campground, etc) that it was Andrew’s birthday the next day – he HATED that! 

Here he is trying to sit as far away from me as possible at the park:

Then I woke him up with my own rendition of "Happy Birthday To You" this morning…he hated that too.

Here he is trying to avoid having his photo taken by me:

I sang to him on our entire drive home from Hershey…he hated that even more.

Here’s when he wouldn’t even turn around and look at me on the Classic Car ride at HersheyPark (Matt couldn’t turn around – he was the one driving):

But maybe he won’t hate this one little post – Andrew, I love you…happy birthday!

Rescue Swimmers in Action!

Just a quick update – the same day that Emily and I toured the Coast Guard facility at the FAA Technical Center and visited with their rescue swimmers, there was a severe thunderstorm in the area later that afternoon.  The very helicopter that we sat in was called out to rescue passengers from a sinking boat just hours after we were in the helicopter – and the rescue swimmers had to jump in to the rough seas where they managed to save 2 of the 3 people on the boat!  When we saw it on the news, Emily was so excited to see ‘our’ helicopter involved in a rescue that very same day…

Aviation Enrichment Mini-Symposium

What a strange name for a fun event that we attended at the FAA Technical Center yesterday! The Tech Center is not just the building where I work – it’s a 5000-plus acre facility containing the main building (for FAA system development and research) plus the Atlantic City Airport, US Coast Guard facility, 177th Fighter Wing Air National Guard facility, Federal Air Marshal facility, and other buildings where there is research done for bomb detection, airplane safety, weather phenomena…it’s a really interesting place to work.

I took Andrew and Emily with me to work yesterday for a series of tours and workshops introducing kids to different aspects of aviation – labeled an “Aviation Enrichment Mini-Symposium”.  That was the title of the email that was sent out to all of the FAA employees a few weeks ago announcing this event – and I think many of them ignored it because they had no idea what it meant.  So many people stopped us and said that they had no idea the event was even taking place today!  If the email had been titled, “Fun Things For You and Your Kids To Do Together So You Don’t Have to Just Sit At Your Desk All Day”, more people might have opened it and read it.  But there were still lots of kids there today and they all seemed to be having a great time.

Unfortunately, my poor son Matthew has walking pneumonia and wasn’t able to come with us today – Mike had to stay home with him all day.  I hope Matt feels better soon.

During the day, Emily and I made some crafts (of course – any time crafts are offered, you know we’ll be there!), watched a K-9 demonstration by the Egg Harbor Township police department (we’re not sure who was policing Egg Harbor Township while most of the police force was at this event), tried a flight-simulator, made some paper airplanes and took a fantastic tour of the Coast Guard facility on base.

I had NO idea exactly what the aviation division of the Coast Guard did – and boy, was I impressed!  These are some extremely brave men and women – especially the rescue swimmers.  I had no idea of the intensity of their training or the extreme danger of their missions.  These are the guys that are dropped from helicopters to rescue boaters or others who fall victim to sinking boats and rough seas, often in shark-infested waters.  Their physical stamina is incredible – they have to be able to swim with no floatation devices in sometimes up to 20 foot swells for up to 30 minutes – almost impossible conditions that require the swimmers to remain in top physical condition.  We met several of the swimmers who were very candid about their experiences – and were also quite easy-on-the-eyes if I do say so myself!  But I digress…

While we were there, we were able to tour the Coast Guard facility and the children were allowed to climb aboard a $10 million helicopter while a pilot explained the controls to them individually.  They were so accommodating and so patient with the children – I’d like to thank them for a great experience.

Meanwhile, Andrew was able to tour the 177th Fighter Wing, NJ Air National Guard facility.  He got to see their F-16s and weapons too – a boy’s dream!  After that, he toured the Federal Air Marshal training facility (which was a little bit more secretive about their operations – these are the guys who are present on every airline flight and act as cops in the sky) and also toured some air traffic control labs in the main building.  He also got to participate in a ‘mini egg drop’ where the kids has to try to cushion an egg that would be dropped from the second and third floor of the atrium.  Unfortunately, Andrew’s egg cracked on the first drop, but we had fun watching all of the other egg contraptions fall while we cheered them on.

I wish I had taken more photos, but my camera seemed to stay on my desk for most of the day while we ran from event to event.  I didn’t realize that the facility gave so many tours – this would be an excellent place for class trips for elementary and middle schools.

I think this experience also gave the kids a glimpse into what it’s like to work at the FAA Technical Center – they saw that the work that takes place there is interesting and that we can sometimes have fun at work too (like when one of my co-workers gave Emily a toy moose that ‘poops’ out brown jelly beans – thanks a lot, Jeff).

By the way, Andrew found it difficult to believe that I might actually have some knowledge about something other than raising kids and housework.  He kept saying, “So people actually come to YOU with questions about this stuff?!?!”  He may have actually been impressed with his own mother – although I’m sure he’d never admit it…

A Change of Direction

If you haven’t already noticed, my blog has a new title and a new look to go with it.

I felt that my blog has taken a different direction the past few months. While in the beginning I used to post mainly about my stamping and craft projects, I have found that my focus has shifted (both on my blog and in real life).

I have found myself writing more about what’s happening in my personal life – especially with my family. I’ve been sharing more reports about my family’s experiences, our comings and goings, my children’s achievements and even a few book and travel reviews thrown in here and there.

I’m still crafting and I’ll still share my projects here (and will keep all previous posts available for viewing), but I don’t think I’ll be getting work published again any time soon (unless you count the specification that I just developed for the FAA…and you would only want to read that if you’re having trouble sleeping).

The new working title, “Flying By the Seat of My Pants”, accurately describes my current family life.

I have friends who have their lives perfectly planned out – what they will wear, where they will go, when they will retire…even what their kids will be when they grow up. You can give them a time of day and they know exactly where they’ll be. Give them a month in any given year in the future and they can tell you what they’ll be doing. I wish I could be that way.

But I feel like I have no consistent plan – every day is really like flying by the seat of my pants. Where will I be next year? Not really sure – will I still be working? Full-time? Part-time? Heck – let’s not even look that far ahead…what are we doing tomorrow after church? What are we having for BREAKFAST tomorrow? Some may call that spontaneity…to me, that sounds too kind. It’s really more like trying to get through each day, trying to go with the flow and basically…surviving with myself and my family intact.

So I’ll be sharing more of those personal experiences here on my blog in the months to come. Hey…is that a plan? No…it may not work out and I may change my mind. See – I’m still flying by the seat of my pants – even here on my blog.

One idea that I’ve been tossing around in my head is the idea of doing a little bit of writing (maybe that’s why I haven’t been sleeping – I need to bring home a copy of that specification as a sedative). I’ve been doing so much reading this summer and I can’t help but feel drawn to writing something myself. And as silly as it seems, writing up that specification has brought out the writer in me again. I just need to shift from boring technical writing to something more interesting (not too hard to do).

So I may test out some of my ideas here – I was really drawn to the idea of little essays and observations like the ones written by David Sedaris in the last book I read, “When You Are Engulfed in Flames”. Not that David and I have anything in common – he’s a small, Greek homosexual man that graduated with a literary degree from Princeton…and I’m not. I have no writing experience or education other than that I did in college.

But I have a few ideas both for little essays and even for some potential longer stories that have been floating around in my mind for a few months – maybe I’ll give it a shot and let some of those ideas loose on paper.

Then maybe I’ll have some room in my mind to sleep at night again…

Look Me In the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s

This post is sort of a book review and personal post all in one. You see, I just finished reading a book called Look Me In the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s by John Elder Robison (John was the older brother in the book/movie, Running With Scissors):

This book really hit home for me because I also have a life with Asperger’s – I do not have the disorder, but both my son Matthew AND my husband Mike have Asperger’s syndrome – so in one way or another, my own life is affected every single day.

Asperger’s syndrome is a neurological disorder that is associated mainly with difficulties in social interaction. It also involves obsession with specific interests, sensitivity to light and/or sound, a tendency to see things logically (sometimes to a fault – every issue is black-and-white with no shades of grey) and to be an extreme rule-follower (again – to a fault – there are no exceptions to rules for Aspergians). Creative writing is also difficult for people with Asperger’s – their writing and speech is simple, precise and to the point.

Which is why I thought it was interesting to read a book written by a man with Asperger’s. And the writing style was clearly different from most books – sentences were direct and short – almost as if written by a child in some ways.

But people with Asperger’s are by no means lacking in intelligence! They are some of the greatest minds in areas such as mathematics and science. Not in a “Rain Man” savant kind of way – people with the disorder are highly functioning and can manage quite well in everyday society – but some things that most of us take for granted can be a real struggle for them.

The book gets it’s name from the Asperger’s characteristic of being unable to make eye contact with others. As a child, the author was constantly told to “Look me in the eye!” And that’s something I especially notice about Matt – not only does he avoid making eye contact with others, but he even kind of curls up and turns away to get as far away from them as possible when he’s speaking.

Asperger’s syndrome falls on the autism spectrum and there is no cure – nor should there be. It’s not a ‘disease’ – just a different way of being. Reading this book helped me to better understand some of what Matt and Mike go through. The author explains that he never wanted to be alone – he really did want to socialize with other people – it’s just that he never knew how. He describes going up to another child playing with a truck and feeling like the child was playing with it wrong – he thought he knew a better way. So he grabbed the truck from the child and showed them how to play with it. His intentions were not to be rude – he genuinely wanted to help the other child learn a better way. But it never occurred to him that there was more than one way to play with the truck (part of the rule-following I mentioned earlier – there’s one way…black-and-white…no exceptions) or that taking the truck was socially unacceptable.

Empathy is also an issue for Aspergians. The author gives the example of someone telling him when he was a child that an aunt died. His resulting facial expression was a smile. Not because he thought it was funny…but because in his mind, the death of the aunt didn’t affect him and in fact, he was happy that it was not his mom or dad (hence the smile). The reaction was socially unacceptable – but how do we learn this?

Most of us learn from watching others and from some sort of instinct – it’s the same instinct that leads us to ask appropriate questions and make small talk – something Aspergians are unable to do.

So what’s it like to have a child with Asperger’s? It can be very frustrating, that’s for sure. I have trouble relating to Matthew’s issues because they seem so foreign to me. And it drives me crazy when he insists on correcting everyone (as he is doing right now with Emily on their new Wii video game – I have to keep in mind that he means well…but it can be very frustrating when his is so critical of others – it’s like the story of taking the truck).But at the same time, he’s sweet, bright, honest (lying never occurs to him – part of the black-and-white thing) and I love him for who he is.

And what’s it like bring married to someone with Asperger’s? I think Mike was scared when he went online and tried to find a support group for those with spouses who have Asperger’s and almost all of the posts were about how horrible it being married to an Aspergian and about people leaving their husbands/wives. But I don’t feel that way.

True…I had to make some adjustments in my expectations. Mike will never be a social butterfly or spend time talking with me all night long. But he, like Matt, is sweet, honest, caring, a wonderful father and is one of the smartest people I know. When we first got his diagnosis, I did have to take some time to absorb all that it meant. But instead of focusing on what he can‘t do, I like to focus on what he can do – and that is to love his family and to be the best father and husband that he can be. At that he is successful. And that’s more than enough for me.

Birthday at Lake Kandle

We had Matt’s birthday party yesterday at Lake Kandle – it was such a gorgeous day! 

I did a little swim theme for the party and got lots of compliments from people walking by – this was so simple (and inexpensive):

Each child got a little bucket and shovel as a favor (filled with goodies, of course) and I served snacks out of buckets as well (chips, pretzels and starfish goldfish).  Nothing fancy, but it was bright and colorful.

My parents came by for a bit:

They brought some really yummy water ice for the kids – great on a hot summer day!

I think even Andrew had a good time (13 year-olds are so hard to impress):

There was lots of snacking, swimming, volleyball and ping-pong all day long (I’m not sure exactly what happened to the brand new ping-pong paddles I bought for the party – they look like they’ve been through a war!).

But most importantly, Matt had a blast – and that’s all that really matters.  Happy birthday, Matt!