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Feeling Out of Sorts

Posted by Kathy Torrence on Oct 29, 2009 in Uncategorized

The last few weeks have been really strange – I just haven’t felt like myself.  No major changes, just lots of little things have me out of my normal routine.  And I’m such a creature of habit – I LIKE routines.  Routines are comforting to me – at least to a point.  There are times in my life where I like to shake it up a little bit (and during the entire transition, I second guess myself and wonder why I didn’t just stay in my comfort zone where i belonged).  But for the most part, I like to get up at the same time, have the same breakfast, go to work at the same time, drive the same way…you get the idea.  If I have to even take a detour that takes me down a different road, I sometimes have a little panic attack. 

Anyway, the last few weeks have definitely had me out of my routine.  Two weeks ago, I spent the first part of the week on travel in Washington, DC for work.  And for a woman who doesn’t like change or surprises (I should mention here that I also don’t like surprises.  That includes gifts, surprise parties, unexpected visitors…I even wanted to know the sexes of all of my children before they were born.), I do like to travel.  Well…I like traveling once I get wherever I’m going.  And I like planning a trip.  I just don’t like packing or getting to the airport/train station – that part REALLY stresses me out.  Part of the control freak in me, I guess.  This trip, I took the train to DC by myself – something I’ve never done before.  I did enjoy the train much more than driving and I do like Washington.  It’s such an amazing city – everyone there seems to have a purpose – a place to be and a job to do.  I stayed in a really nice hotel and got to catch up with some friends while I was there, too.  Wish I had some money to spend – there were some fantastic stores near my hotel…but I’m sticking to the budget.

The day after I got back from DC, I went on an amazing 3 day Christian retreat called the Walk to Emmaus.  I can’t begin to describe what a wonderful spiritual experience I had – I felt surrounded by God’s unconditional love in a way that is unlike anything I have ever felt before.  I didn’t know anyone going in to the retreat, but came out feeling so close to the women I met there.  I’d like to volunteer to assist others in the future with their walks and hope that I can make their experiences as wonderful as I found my own.

But as incredible as my spiritual experience was, the actual physical experience was not as incredible.  After staying at that fabulous 5 star hotel in DC, the accommodations at the retreat were much more…rustic.  And during the weekend, we experienced a “double nor’easter” (whatever that is) – it basically amounted to temperatures in the 40’s and driving rain for 4 straight days.  Oh…and did I mention that the buildings were only heated with space heaters?  And that we had to move outside from building to building to eat, sleep, worship and even go to the bathroom? 

So after a weekend of very little sleep in a confined area with lots of other women while spending time outside in the cold, driving rain and no heat…surprisingly, I got very sick with the flu when I got home.

And I’ve been sick for the last 9 DAYS!!!!  It’s been weeks now since I’ve been in my normal routine – I haven’t been exercising because I’ve been away or I’ve been sick or I was in physical therapy for my hip.  And while I was away, my eating habits were off too.  They fed us SO much while we were on that retreat!  The food was fabulous, but they gave us dessert at EVERY meal!   And I felt so bad wasting the food that they had cooked for us – plus it was SO good…

But so far, so good.  I haven’t gained any weight – I guess I really only ate bad for those 3 days.  I’ve picked back up on the exercise – I’m not sore, so I guess I wasn’t away from it as long as I thought I was. 

I’m looking forward to feeling like myself again. 

Oh…and here are some “before and after” weight loss photos.  Andrew went to homecoming this weekend and when I saw this photo of him and me, I remembered that I had this other photo taken at his 8th grade graduation about a year and a half ago.  Thought they would make an interesting contrast – this was June, 2008:

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And this was last weekend, 50 pounds lighter:

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I got thinner and Andrew got much taller…

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